S.A.D.

Seasonal affective disorder works both ways. Did you know? I didn't. If we're being honest, I still don't. I'm not going to look it up either. I do know that I've been grumpy and mopey, and I'm attributing it to lack of snow. All of my social media feeds are full of pictures from the midwest of blizzards and cars buried under snow and animals trying winter on for size only to find out it's not for them. But when I look away from whatever screen happens to be in front of my face at the moment, I find sun. Sure it's been cold for a couple of days, but two days of not-quite-freezing weather and sky drizzle that does not count as snow/ice no matter how much Texas seems to think that it does, does not make up for missing winter.

Don't even attempt to tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't really like it that much. It's not so great when you're living it.

I do know what I'm talking about. I do like it that much. And it's magical when I'm living it.

I lived in Indiana for 22 years and winter is my favorite season by far. Below freezing for months at a time? Hideous, water-proof boots to walk through the slush and sludge of melted snow on streets and sidewalks? Seeing green and being tricked into thinking that spring is coming only to have 6 inches of snow covering it all the next day? Wonderland. Give it to me. I'll thank you.

It's my first winter out of the Midwest and I knew that I would miss the winter, but not this much. I will not be long for the South.

SOS - Emotions

There aren't many things that make me uncomfortable. I'll talk about pretty much anything with most anyone and enjoy the conversation. One of the exceptions to this rule is conversations with flower child type people who want to talk about everything being connected and natural this or that and the circle of life. I don't have the time or the patience for that. I don't particularly believe it and even if I did, I wouldn't talk about it because people would start to invite me to tye-dye gatherings and banjo concerts.

The other exception is emotions. Any kind. Excited, upset, worried, depressed, nervous, whatever. I don't know how to handle it. It's not a deer-in-the-headlights kind of not knowing how to deal, it's a laughing a little too loud in a room of people who aren't laughing or wondering if pretending to cry would be the right move kind of issue. I'm not sure whether to pat people on the back and tell them it will be fine or that I'm sorry or if I should tell them to buck up and move on because dwelling on something won't make it better. I tend to go for option two. Because that's how feelings work. Right? Shove them down. Ignore them. It makes everyone's life easier.

Apparently that's not how people deal. I've been misinformed.

A lot of these issues wouldn't be a problem if I had a bit more empathy, but I've yet to find somewhere to buy that online. I don't experience a lot of the emotions that people do to common stimuli and I don't to how to react when they do. God help any children I may have. I'll definitely have an account set up to pay for therapy.